


Harder, Faster, Wreck 'Er

by MonsterParade



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Size Difference, Sticky Sexual Interfacing, Trans Male Character, a fun casual romp in the berth and a good time is had by all, he still thinks you're hot tho, the reader is a trans guy and will use the appropriate pronouns ok, well not quite attraction but you've got the romance and he don't, yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 04:05:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16779253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonsterParade/pseuds/MonsterParade
Summary: “Do humans not do that?” Chromedome finally asks. “You know. Casual interface?”“Interface?” you repeat. Your brain finally catches up with you after the words are already out of your mouth, and you’re just a little too slow to stop Chromedome from making a very crude gesture with his fingers. Rewind starts laughing.“Okay okay, I got it!” you squawk. You splay your hands across your face, glaring out at them from between your fingers. “…Yeah, I mean, humans do that too, I guess. Some humans, anyway. I’ve never done it.” you mumble.Rewind stretches across the table to pat your arm, equal parts comforting and condescending.“It’s really pretty common amongst big groups of Cybertronians. Especially in close quarters like this. It’s a perfect way to blow off steam without a lot of space, you know? It might even help you guys get closer,” he says in sing-song, and it’s amazing that a face so unlike your own can still communicate his impish expression perfectly.





	Harder, Faster, Wreck 'Er

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to Whirl Thirst Hour! This first chapter is actually all just lead-up, and the actual sticky stuff will happen in the next chapter, just fyi. Also, this is a reader-insert story, but the reader is a trans male human and uses he/him/his pronouns, although I don't think they actually come up in this first chapter.
> 
> I'll put this warning here and on the next chapter; the reader here has not had any gender-corrective surgery yet, and while he will be referred to properly by all characters, his breasts will be mentioned as such and the rest of his anatomy will use the most standard terms as well. If you're worried this will affect your dysphoria, please read with the appropriate amount of caution! (the only word changed will be the clitoris, which will be referred to as his dick.)
> 
> That's all! Enjoy!

You’re staring at Whirl again.  
  
Not too hard, mind, nothing that would draw his optic or his ire. Just longing glances across the bar, your eyes hooded and your cheek propped up in your hand, bottom lip caught between your teeth. Rewind’s seen this song and dance before. Even between your different species, _some_ things translate themselves just fine.  
  
“So. Tall, dark and _crazy_ , huh?” he prompts. He snickers to himself when you snap to attention, your soft human skin coloring so easily when you realize you’ve been caught. “Don’t be embarrassed! I think it’s kinda cute.”  
  
You seem to have become very interested in your little glass of water all of a sudden.  
  
“I just think he’s…neat, that’s all,” you say, and oh, Rewind has never heard such a sad little lie in all his life.  
  
“ _Neat?_ ” Chromedome parrots, apparently following the same train of thought his conjunx is. He takes a deep draw from his pint of engex before continuing. “ _Neat_ is for party tricks. _Neat_ is Skids stealing a bottle of engex from across the room with his grappling hook. That’s not the face you make when something is ‘neat’.”  
  
“Nothing wrong with having a little crush,” Rewind finishes for him, gently teasing. You dip your fingers in your water and flick it at him in reply.  
  
“He’s handsome, okay? He’s very handsome.”  
  
Actually, your _little crush_ on Whirl goes well beyond a mere aesthetic appreciation, but there’s no reason to just spill your guts about it because of a little bit of prodding. He’s very pretty, elegant-looking, for sure, but…yeah. Unfortunately, you’re in a little bit deeper than that.  
  
“You want me to tell him for you? I bet he’d be flattered, even if he doesn’t show it,” Rewind offers. You nearly panic, swiping a hand flat across your neck in a gesture to ‘cut that shit out’, glancing back over your shoulder to make sure no one is listening.  
  
Whirl is still firmly in his seat at the bar, scraping little furrows into the metal surface with the points of his claws.  
  
You blow out a breath.  
  
“God, no! Can you imagine? Rewind. Can you imagine the teasing? He’d never let me live it down.”  
  
Chromedome drums his fingers against the table.  
  
“But what if he’s into it?”  
  
The sudden thought of that is enough to make you laugh.  
  
“Chromedome,” you sigh, slumping back down into your seat with a chuckle. “We’re not even the same _species_. Yeah, _I_ might have a crush that crosses the boundaries there, but I think I’m the exception, not the rule.” You punctuate your statement by hiding behind the robot-sized shot glass that serves as your cup, drawing a little face in the condensation that has formed.  
  
Rewind, visor flashing, seems almost offended by your lack of hope.  
  
“Are you kidding me? Bots have cross-species relationships all the time! …Okay, not _all_ the time, but it’s happened _before,_ and that’s my point.”  
  
He seems thoughtful all of a sudden, and rubs his hand over his mask, considering.  
  
“…Yeah! I bet he’d love to go for a little tumble in the berth with you.” he says.  
  
He’s talking at a perfectly normal volume, but his words have you looking around frantically again as though everyone in the bar might be listening in, an uncomfortably hot flush creeping up your neck. You make a mortified little sound.  
  
“Shhh!” you hiss. “Jesus H. Christ, Rewind, I can’t just go up to him and proposition him! That’s, like… _creepy,_ isn’t it?”  
  
Not to mention, you don’t even know- well, anything! About his species, how they even do _that_ sort of thing, much less if they might be compatible with _you._ You try very, very hard not to think about anything Whirl might be packing (other than guns).  
  
Your friends stare across the table at you for a long minute, their visors still difficult for you to read after all this time, light shining in a way that’s hard for you to parse.  
  
“Do humans not do that?” Chromedome finally asks. “You know. Casual interface?”  
  
“Interface?” you repeat. Your brain finally catches up with you after the words are already out of your mouth, and you’re just a little too slow to stop Chromedome from making a very crude gesture with his fingers. Rewind starts laughing.  
  
“Okay okay, I got it!” you squawk. You splay your hands across your face, glaring out at them from between your fingers. “…Yeah, I mean, humans do that too, I guess. Some humans, anyway. I’ve never done it.” you mumble.  
  
Rewind stretches across the table to pat your arm, equal parts comforting and condescending.  
  
“It’s really pretty common amongst big groups of Cybertronians. Especially in close quarters like this. It’s a perfect way to blow off steam without a lot of space, you know? It might even help you guys get _closer,_ ” he says in sing-song, and it’s amazing that a face so unlike your own can still communicate his impish expression perfectly.  
  
You scold him, and blush, and hunch down in your seat while you tell him he’s the worst, the absolute worst- but even when he laughs and lets the topic go, his words stick with you.  
  
God, do they stick with you.  
________________________  
  
  
“Ratchet? Do you have a minute?”  
  
The medibay is quiet when you peek around the corner of the doorframe, with no recent grievous injuries for the medics to have to treat. It’s so quiet, in fact, that _Ratchet_ doesn’t even seem to be in.  
  
You’re quietly happy for him. He works way too goddamn hard.  
  
“Hey there! Ratchet’s on break right now, actually. Do you need some help?”  
  
You swivel in surprise. The sweet voice you hear belongs to Velocity- and ah, there she is, coming out of a back room, arms loaded down with boxes and tins. Medical stuff, probably.  
  
You smile up at her.  
  
“Hi, Velocity. Um…actually, yeah, do you have a minute?” you ask, rubbing absentmindedly at the back of your neck. Your smile turns sheepish as you enter the medibay proper. “I’m not hurt or anything! Just so you know. I just had some, um, like, medical questions?”  
  
Velocity sets her crates down on an empty medical slab and turns to regard you curiously.  
  
“About humans? Or about Cybertronians?” As she usually does, she crouches down to be closer to eye-level with you while she talks, a beautiful little smile on her face. She always acts like she’s trying hard not to scare you. It’s really sweet.  
  
“Cybertronians.”  
  
“Of course! Well then, come on in and have a seat! –Oh, do you need me to pick you up?” Velocity adds, offering a friendly hand. You beam at her.  
  
“Yes please! You know, Ratchet just always watches me climb into the chairs by myself?”  
  
You step into Velocity’s hand and kneel down while she lifts you up, her palm warm and her quiet laughter vibrating through her frame and into you. She sets you gently down on a chair.  
  
“Color me _not_ surprised.” she says. As you settle down into the chair which is much too big for you, you catch yourself glancing back over your shoulder, towards the open door, bashfulness creeping into your nerves. Velocity notices.  
  
“Do you want the door closed too? It’s no trouble.”  
  
“Yes, please. Thank you.”  
  
Velocity slides the door closed with a gentle ‘ping’. Alone in the room with you now, she sits down in her own chair across from you and gives you an inquiring hum, gesturing for you to speak and watching you patiently with her big, _beautiful_ eyes… …crap, Velocity is actually pretty crush-worthy _herself_ , now that you think about it.  
  
But that’s not why you’re here, and you mentally shake yourself off. You fold your hands in your lap.  
  
“Uhh,” you begin. She’s a doctor, just remember- she’s certainly heard stranger questions before, right? You carefully look down, pretending to be interested in a spot on the floor, fidget, and continue. “So. There’s this…bot.”  
  
“Mmhm?”  
  
“…Wait, let me back up. Uh, okay, so Rewind told me that sometimes you guys have like, casual se– um, _interface_. With other crew members. And it’s like, a whole thing. Is that _true,_ or is he just pullin’ my leg?”  
  
To her credit, Velocity doesn’t appear outwardly surprised by your question. She seems almost tickled, actually.  
  
“There’s someone you have your eye on,” she guesses, grinning. Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise.  
  
“ _That_ obvious?”  
  
“Just a lucky guess! …Hmm. So, you want to know if it’s possible for a human like yourself to interface with a mech?”  
  
Embarrassed, you scrub a hand over your face.  
  
“Yeah. That’s the gist of it.” you reply. Velocity crosses her legs and twirls one foot at the ankle while she thinks.  
  
“Weeell…” she begins, “I’ll admit I don’t actually know that much about humans _myself,_ at least not in the interface sense. But I can definitely give you a crash course on Cybertronian interface while you’re here, and we can work from there?” she offers. You feel yourself light up with relief. This is much less awkward than you thought it would be!  
  
“Don’t tell Ratchet, Lotty, but you have a much better bedside manner than he does!”  
  
Velocity’s surprised laughter almost drowns out the rest of your words.  
  
“–I’d love that lesson, actually, thank you.”  
  
_______________________________________  
  
  
When you finally leave the medibay, it’s with a dizzy head and a grin on your face, Velocity walking you out to make certain no one tramples you on their way in. She seems to share your cheer.  
  
She crouches down to you one more time before you leave.  
  
“Practice safe interface, okay?” she asks you. “Remember to go slow, and communicate with your partner, and remember what I told you about mass-displacement.”  
  
“’If my partner’s bigger than a minibot, they have to convert before we flirt’,” you repeat obediently. Your new knowledge has buoyed you up, part of your previous nerves soothed with knowing how your species are actually not so different after all, and you’re practically buzzing.  
  
Velocity gives you a wink and a big smile.  
  
“There you go! Have fun with your lucky mech.”  
_______________________________________  
  
  
Phase two of your plan has begun.  
  
Well, it’s actually not so much of a plan as it is a foolhardy scramble, in your opinion, but you’re just desperate enough to try it, armed with your new knowledge and the support of your friends.  
  
You’re very careful that when you finally approach Whirl, it’s not at the bar. You don’t want alcohol influencing his decisions, before or during interface- you’d never want to push him into something he doesn’t actually want, regardless of your own feelings.  
  
You make your move just after Whirl is getting off of his evening shift.  
  
You’ve chosen the moment rather carefully; most of the other mechs will be preoccupied at this time, those who aren’t working hanging around the bar at Swerve’s, and you’ve positioned yourself in front of the hallway Whirl will have to walk down on his way back from the bridge, effectively barring his way to alcohol before you have a chance to talk to him.  
  
You’re leaning too-casually against a wall when you finally see him, and your heart flutters wildly.  
  
“Whirl!”  
  
He doesn’t acknowledge you. He nearly steps on you on his way past, in fact, and it’s only your yelp as you dodge that draws his attention, finally making him pause.  
  
“Eh? …Oh, hey, shorty. Did I smush ya there? Sorry ‘bout that.” he chuckles. He scratches his chin (or the area thereof) and makes a big show of stepping around you before trying to continue on his way, but he only makes it a few steps before you stop him again.  
  
“Wait! Whirl, I wanted to talk to you!”  
  
He turns around.  
  
“You? What do _you_ want? It better be important, ‘cuz I’ve got a hangover on my schedule for tomorrow morning.” he replies.  
  
Under his sudden, intense stare you begin to hesitate, your nerves creeping up on you and turning your cheeks pink, and Whirl’s optic makes a zooming sound like the lens on a camera.  
  
“What’s with you?” he asks suspiciously. You stuff your hands into the pockets of your jeans and clench them, clearing your throat. The longer you dither, the harder this is going to be, to say nothing of Whirl’s generally short attention span.  
  
“I was wondering if you were doing anything tonight!” you blurt. Whirl looks at you like you’ve just grown a second head- and the second head is _dumb_ \- and narrows his eye.  
  
“I _just_ said I was going to Swerve’s. Did that not register?”  
  
You grimace and splay a hand across your face. This is going _well_ so far.  
  
“ _No,_ I mean- not that kind of ‘doing anything’. I mean- uh,” You pause to look both ways down the hallway, struggling already and not keen on anyone overhearing your conversation. Whirl follows your gaze curiously. “…Just come down here real quick.” you sigh.  
  
Whirl seems to be growing increasingly skeptical, but drops down and hunches over you anyway, synthesizing an ‘a- _hem_ ’ sound from his vocalizer and flickering his optic at you.  
  
You stare back up at him as boldly as you can manage and think back to what Rewind said to you.  
  
“Do you wanna go for a tumble in the berth with me?”  
  
Whirl stares at you, wall-eyed.  
  
" _...What._ "


End file.
